work

Painting again. It is hard to get going sometimes.

What I am learning is that I don't know how the paint will react. I don't know how the paper will stretch, how it will rumple when loaded up with water and how much water to use for which type of effect. I don't know my colors. There is no automatic here, it's all a slow process. I have to think and test on scratch paper to try out colors.

I stand up and walk away for a minute thinking: If I painted it over and over I would make improvements and after about 20 tries, I might like what came out. I don't have time for 20 tries.

I need to call my commissioner and say: You should pay me less because I am a student not a professional.

And so as I go on trying to complete this project for which I am being paid, and which I do NOT want to look like practice in its finished state, I am, as a matter of fact, practicing. I have just painted a matador. I am happy with the legs, but not the coffee cup. Don't ask, the poetry is clever and full of puns. The hand holding the cup is incomprehensible and will need to be fixed. But I need a break.

The light and shadow is not dramatic enough for me,though I like the detail in the embroidery. I had to go searching for faces of typical matadors because the image I used for the body was a photograph of one of those statues that you can stick your head into and have your picture taken, so that you look like you are the matador. The guy in the picture looked very blond and touristy.

There is a blob of gray that came off my finger unintentionally that I cannot get off the paper. I will try painting over it with white but only if I cannot erase it with water. I like the steam coming off the coffee.

I used the colored pencils that turn into paint when you wet them. Mostly I colored onto the page and then added clear water to blend it. I am learning that for detailed finicky work, these pencils are useful. They get the job done faster than brushes.

But I didn't get going on it in earnest until afternoon. I had an appointment in the morning and then ate lunch and felt my coffee wearing off but could not nap, so I got up and went to work. It is raining and has been all day so the dog (and I) don't get our run today.

I had to call work to see if I am on schedule any time soon. Superhero is put off till next week. Only 3 applied. I wondered who, but did not ask. I did not want to have that to think about today. If I had known this would happen, I could have bolted off to Florida to spend a week with my dad.

I want to attach a tag to my paintings that says "Little slubs and splotches are part of the character of this work and are in no way a sign of imperfection or sloppinness, rather they increase the value of your purchase." In other words: "I meant to do that!"