held

Held. A song by Natalie Grant.
While I was working on the illustrations for my poet friend, he asked me to go out and buy Natalie Grant's CD called Awaken. He mentioned 2 songs in particular: "make me over", and "held". I ordered it online and when it came, I listened to the songs.

The words to "Held" made me cry instantly. I had heard the song before, in spite of the fact that I hardly ever listen to Christian radio any more. I recognised the tune. But I had never paid attention to the words.

It was about death, a mother losing a son and how wrong it was. I have never lost a son, but I have lost. This is what it is to be held, she sings. I know this. I know what it is to be held by God. I know his presence. I understand what this woman is singing about. When I lost my husband I was flattened. But God was holding me and I knew it. I didn't feel it immediately, but I had seen evidence of his presence at the moment of death. Day by day, little by little, with only a tiny mustard seed of hope and faith, I walked through the following days. It's been over 6 years and now I can almost feel God's arms around me. "This is what it means to be loved", she says, "and to know, that the promise is when everything fell, we'd be held...."