Coaching

My profile says my blog is about coaching and I have yet to write anything about it. I wrote "That (coaching) will be an interesting post. Check in later."

It's time to do a post on coaching:

Having a personal coach is a great new thing that God has brought into my life. Why struggle alone? I like having someone encourage me. I have lived with a lot of DIScouragement over my whole life, criticism, judgment without help, shame, rejection. To have someone who is on my side and whose purpose is to watch me succeed and be happy about it, not competing with me, but supporting me, feels really good. I am thriving in this atmosphere.

In the days after I had left my former occupation, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I am good at and what I could do for my next career. Thankfully I had savings to live on while I looked for a career. That is huge and I do not take it for granted! Get as much life insurance as you can for your loved ones. Don't think you won't need it. You don't know.

One day I got an email from my former tennis coach that said "You'd be a good life coach." I had only heard of a life coach once before in a conversation with some intelligent ladies. I was whining about not knowing what to do in life, and one of them said "Sounds like you need a life coach."

OK, so one person says I need one, the other says I should be one. Hmmmm, what's a life coach?

My tennis coach had sent 2 links to coaching websites. The woman's site gave me the impression it was for corporate executive types; I could not identify. The second was www.purposefilledlife.com. The title did not really appeal to me, because it sounded like the title to Rick Warren's book. I was rebelling a just a little at the popularity of his book, Purpose Driven Life, which I had been reading with a friend. I was distrustful of book simply because it was TOO popular, which made me suspicious. Oh, brother. Lots of good stuff in there, but all I remember from it is the first sentence: "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!" that is profound. If you get that, you probably don't need to read the book.

At any rate, Ron Marsh offers a free trial. I'm thinking one could really get ripped off by some stranger out there is cyberspace, who could take your money and give you a bunch of hooey. But, I thought, during the trial appointment I can discern whether he is for real. If I get ANY negative vibes, I won't do it.

So we had our trial call. I was favorably impressed and decided to try it. Again after one month, if it's not helpful, I'll quit. Ron makes a point that the coaching he does is subject to God's guidance. I did not fully understand what he was saying until I got into the process. Jesus said My sheep hear my voice and they follow me. I recognize God's voice in this coaching relationship. I do not mean that Ron says: Do something and I obey. That is exactly what coaching is NOT. But his skill in asking questions causes me to discern what God is leading me to do.

Life coaching is not mentoring, not consulting, not counseling, not psychotherapy. It has some elements from these things. But it is encouragement and accountability. Now I have nice friends who love me and say sweet things to me to make me feel better when life is hard. A coach doesn't do that. He is not a soothsayer.

And I've had a Christian psychologist who listened to me and asked me hard questions to help me understand my unhappiness and how to get out of it.

And I've had a pastoral counselor who listened for long hours and gave me books to read and gave me tools to communicate with people I loved. All those stood by me and all were valuable and sent by God at the right time. All of those I am very grateful for.

At this time, it is a coach I need and a coach I have. He is more skilled as a listener even than the counselor and the head-shrinker. His listening has a different purpose than therapy. He asks hard questions too. He cheers for me when I do things I say I'm going to do. He prays with me and for me. He is God's chosen person for me at this time of transition. The hesitancy is gone. Coaching works.

I'm excited about coaching and want to go into all the details but I won't. Ron would say: not everyone feels the need for a coach, but everyone can benefit from having a coach. I know what he means now.

When I had a tennis coach, I needed specific tennis expertise. Though I could say: 'I want to work on my backhand!' it was up to my tennis coach to tell me what I needed to change and how to do it. But my Christian life coach lets me decide pretty much everything I want to change and how to change it. The Lord and I.

Bottom line, it works. I am sure of this: before I hired a life coach, I was growing. Since I hired Ron, my growth (and the joy that comes with growth) has multiplied a hundred fold.

More about this later.