I hate to be told this too shall pass

Ok, I just have to write this out.
Yesterday at work I'm minding my own business (that is, I'm working!) and in comes a customer. He is tall, he is African, he is not unattractive. He greets me.
Greeting is very important in Africa, but he doesn't greet me the African way, how is your family?

He is looking at me and I feel a little uneasy. Nervous. I get the feeling he wants to stay there and talk a while. Fine, there are not many people coming in and out, but I feel nervous because he isn't making the conversation, I am. Now I've gotten used to that in my years of ministry experience...talking, asking questions of the other person, making them feel at ease. But I am an introvert and I don't really like it to go on and on with me being the initiator.
I am answering other customer's questions and cleaning out the yellow bags - removing maps, pencils, merchandise and hot dog wrappers with mustard on them.
I feel very ready to say, Ok then, have a nice day.
But he follows me over to the yellow bags and he asks me my extention number at my workplace and I give it to him but I'm thinking why does he want this and WHY DID I JUST GIVE IT TO HIM?
He says he'd like to call and just say hi sometimes in a friendly way.
I can't remember if there was other conversation going on.... I'm sure in my discomfort I was trying hard to change the subject. I know I asked him about his sister and he said she's in school. The first time he came in he was with her and she went into the store and he stayed and talked to me for a while. We talked about Africa. He is from a country in West Africa but I had never known anyone from his country. It seems in the years I lived over there, I met people from most the other countries in West Africa but not that one.

I am friendly and though I don't ask every African that comes in there what country they are from and I don't tell them I lived in Africa for 11 years, still, since he hung around, I suppose I was curious which country he was from and just was making conversation to be polite and --- I see my job as making people happy when they come in the door and helping them know how to navigate the store -- and if that means talking about Africa, good.

Anyway this is the 3rd time he has come in. The second time he reminded me of our first meeting and then I took a second look at his face and Oh, yeah, you're from ......
This time he had a return item and went and took care of it and came right back. Then I was chattering away about the store, being nervous, and I told him about when we have our sales and that there is one room that always has sales. He went and checked that out and came back.
Honestly, he asked me if he could leave his phone number and whether I could call him sometimes and just say hi and have friendly conversation.
I do not want this.
I am busy at home and I do not want to make time for him.
I said you can leave your number but I won't call you. I don't call men. He said "no, no, it's not like that, Oh my God!"
He said I want to be like a son to you. OK, whew I'm thinking, a son, ok, it's not about relationship.
But he keeps talking and keeps saying get to know me, become friends and then after 3 or 4 months think about a relationship.
I tell him I think I'm old enough enough to be your mother.
My stomach has just turned a flip flop. What in the world am I going to do with this guy now?!
I'm glad I have 2 large bins of yellow bags in between him and me.
I have to help some customers and we are back at the greeter's desk and now I'm glad the greeter's desk is there putting space between me and this person who is making me very uncomfortable.
He asks for my phone number and I say no. He says cell phone and I say that's the same as calling my home and I don't want to give you my home number.
He says he doesn't care about any age difference. It's doesn't matter.
He has said when he first met me I was nice and he thought this woman - I think she likes Africans...he has asked sublty about whether there are racial issues. I say, it's not about race. I am pretty much in shock.

Ok I don't have time for dredging up every single detail, but he tells me that I'm breaking his heart and he's said Oh my God too many times (once is too many but he keeps saying it)
He says he has come back to the store many times looking for me, where is that woman?
He says the first time he came in he fell in love with me and that he believes in love at first sight.

Now I tell him if I were ever to have a relationship with a man again he would have to be 100% committed to Jesus Christ. I tell him that God is everything to me and that I could never even consider a relationship with a man unless he were also committed to Christ. I say He is my whole life. He has no response except that he can be everything I need. He can be everything to me.

Wow. And he is pressing his case, you don't know me and I don't know you. You have to let the person get to know you by getting closer not keeping them away...
on and on this conversation goes, it seems like a long time
it gets near closing and I have to take the gray box to the cash booth, but he waits for me. I feel uncomfortable walking away because he has told me already he likes the way I look and and way I walk.....please, where can I hide?
Right now I'm laughing because I've slept on it.
I wanted to go immediately when I got off, in fact I wanted to take my 2nd break and get my cell phone and call my coach and say HELP you're a male....I don't want to be coached about this, I want a consultation and you tell me plainly what do you say to this guy to shut him down. I've been too nice to him already, I can see that, but I had no idea what he was up to until tonight. just give me words and body language and all of it.
I'm too old to feel like I'm back in high school.
Anyway, I held fast and did not give my home or cell number. I'm thinking...what if he follows me home?!
I told him he was scaring me with that talk.
I told him I was laughing because he was embarrassing me. Honestly, he just kept standing there staring at me, and pleading with his eyes. His phone number was on a store map lying there on the desk. I didn't know what to do with my hands.
Finally he left.
I'm pretty keyed up emotionally as I do my closing duties. I'm talking to myself. The two guys in living rooms are being funny and I laugh with them. They are male; I feel the need to grab the first guy I see and say HELP, what do I do? How do you handle this? But I don't think they are the kind of guys to give helpful advice and I don't want anyone to know lest my friend comes back and people start gossiping about it. oh brother.
So I keep shaking my head. I can't believe this one.

When I get home, I think about writing this out. I've decided I don't need to call my coach and bother him, but rather I'll blog it and he can read about it (hi coach).
If my daughter hadn't come in I maybe would have called him.
Now my daughter and I talk. So I shift into mommy mode.
Lord, can You slow life down a little please?
We've talked a little I tell her there's a man from ......who told me he's in love with me at work. She throws her head back and laughs really hard. I laugh too, oh help, what do I do?
I tell her most of the story. I tell her I told him that I would never consider a realtionship with a man unless he had a relationship with Jesus at the center of his life. I tell her that I told him this 4 or 5 times. She notes that he does not listen to you. Tell him "from what I've learned about you already, you don't listen to me."
Well, I didn't think of that. it's SOMETHING!
My other daughter comes in and the first tells the second that mom has a man from ......in love with her at work. The second laughs with us and we all get on the bed and schmooze with the dog.
She says tell him you're a lesbian.
This really makes me laugh, but it's kinda too late for that.
I've been telling them I'm going to buy a fake booger and stick it in my nose when he comes in next time.
Laughter is good, very good at a time like this.
I tell the girls I'm going to get one of those paper measuring tapes and color it green and hang it from my nose.

Anyway this too shall pass. I thought about how my coach said did you ever have a problem when you went to bed and when you woke up you just had an answer? No, I don't remember ever having that experience.
But I say to myself, I don't like it when people say to me this too shall pass, because it feels like a way to negate the emotions you are experiencing. Your emotions sometimes make your friends uncomfortable and they think if they throw out this little phrase (and it is very true) that your emotions will go away and not inconvience them any more. Maybe that's too harsh. Sometimes they sincerely want to help by giving you perspective on the matter. But what I want is to have my emotions validated...........more on that some other time.

but this will pass (the sooner the better)
I did realize I don't need to let my feelings of being upset be front and center in my mind.
I thought: it's ok if I use this little cliche ON MYSELF: This too shall pass. I will figure out a way to keep the door firmly shut on this man and he will give up and not bother me.
I will ask my coach and a couple other respected Christian brothers how to deal with him and I'll do what the Lord indicates and HE will take care of things.
Now I need to get ready for the day.