Running away from Hurricane Wilma (about growth)

My Dad and sister live in Florida. Having gone through 3 hurricanes last summer, I'm glad my sister chose not to face all the preps and disruption. Last year, hurricane Charlie threatened while Mom was dying and Daddy was recovering from a serious stroke. They were both at home in hospital beds. So when Wilma threatened, my sister was considering driving North. I said "You can come to me" and they did. They caught the non stop flight the next day and were here in just over 2 hours.

In the old days I used to fuss like crazy when company came, no matter who it was. The whole house would need to be cleaned, all the furniture arranged, nothing out of place and last -- and definitely least -- food purchased.

There was no time for fussing. But the thing is I don't fuss like that any more anyway. I love to have the place all clean and comfortable and inviting, but I'm not driven by that standard the way I used to be. Just come, we'll make do. (Flylady is one of my new best friends. See flylady.net.)

I put Daddy in the sofa sleeper so that he would have no stairs to deal with and since he might need his feet to hang over the end of the mattress. He is very tall. There is no footboard on a sofa sleeper. It has a decent mattress. I turned off the cuckoo clock so that it would not wake him up every hour at night. The nurse had to be near him so we put a twin mattress on the floor. My sister slept in my bed; I wanted her to feel my Select Comfort mattress. I went downstairs and slept with one of my daughters. Ok, everyone's in place.

I never thought I would ever have my dad in my home again, since he doesn't travel any more. The hurricane made that happen. We had a very nice visit. I took him to my place of employment and put him in one wheelchair and my sister in another and the nurse and I walked the entire place with them. It was fun. I wanted my sister to see the place. We ate Swedish meatballs and lingonberries and bought more Swedish food to bring home. The nurse is an excellent cook and when she baked the meatballs and made the gravy, they were very good, unlike the time I threw them in the nuker.

I rented Winged Migration for Daddy to watch -- a beautiful film of migrating birds with haunting music and few words. He likes birds. I think he liked the film, because he stayed awake looking at it. I have an old cookie tray in my fireplace filled with fat candles. I light them all and get the feeling of having a fire burning. I also lit lots of other candles to add to the warm feeling while the cold rain was outside coming down sideways.

I read The Bear Story to him and asked him if he remembered it. "Yes", he said, "I read that to you when you were a little kid." And I said, "Yes, and you gave me this book of James Whitcomb Riley's poetry. I have read this story to my kids and other people's kids.....that Alex ist made up hissef".

We took him for a walk in the park in my neighborhood. He uses his cane and is very slow, but it was good for him to be outside. He said he had to pay such close attention to where he put his feet that he couldn't look up and see the scenery very much. Another frustration of being old. It was very cold and windy. One day it rained all day.

I showed Daddy my paintings from my Maine Watercolor class in August. I wanted so much for him to be happy for me, because his father was the artist in our family and he, Daddy, paid lots of money for me to go to college and get a degree in fine arts, which until now, I never really used. I wanted him to be excited that I am painting again, but, alas....it is not to be. His short term memory is failing and he looked at the pictures and said "I've been there. This looks familiar." When he saw the photographs of my classmates, he'd say, "I know him."

It is so hard to watch that brilliant mind in its crippled state. He tries so hard to remember.

I am grateful that he has recovered physically from his stroke. Last year at this time he was in bed unable to move or walk or take care of himself. Since we took him out of the "rehab center" he has rehabbed, thank you very much. Some say that if he had stayed there, he would have died. It's a great case for investing and saving money for your retirement. He has the funds. He invested wisely and was frugal. He has social security and Medicare, but he'd have enough money for good health care without it.

After dropping them off at the airport, I did my usual bustling around putting things away, washing towels, and so on. I feel happy.

One thing is noteworthy to me: I had the choice to throw my entire schedule out the window and spend all my time with the family. That is what I would have done in the old days. I could have called out at work (everyone else does) and I could have postponed my telephone coaching class and I did consider that, but that is the old me: drop everything, my family is here. I thought about it carefully. This was not about dissing my family. This was about staying on track with my goals and letting different things go in order to be with the family. The things I let go were obsessing about housecleaning and food preps. It's ok. I went ahead with my coaching class. It was important to me to keep my mind in my priorities. Staying on track is where I am growing right now and I do not want to go back to my old ways. If necessary I would have dropped everything and spent 100% of my time with the family, but I did not choose that. It was not about being selfish, as in "This is ME time." It is about growing toward making goals, and staying on track to reach those goals. We had lots of relaxing time together and it was a true blessing.