tenderness

He was subdued, quiet, unenthusiastic and dull in the eyes. Yes, I've heard that the drugs make one feel like a zombie. That is just how it seemed. Before he would be very effervescent, loud, full of cheerful greetings, calling out to everyone he knew. a little too loud. In fact, once he came into the place singing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus". It's not professional. It's not appropriate in a secular workplace. He knows everyone's name. How long have I known this person? About a year now. But I asked him how he was doing and he said better, but he talked about the meds and he did used the zombie word. After his lunch break, he filled me in. The contributing factors to depression's return. Checking himself into the hospital. Suicidal thoughts. The caring church that was too caring....his pastor brought him up in front of the congregation and embarrassed him with "love". The landlords that asked him to get a new place to live because they are afraid of his illness. Now since he is feeling better and using his meds, some woman told him that he's about the age of Jesus and he is going to suffer the entire year, and that many bad things are going to happen to him. I said who is she, is she from your church? no? How does she know this? He had no answers. So I said how does she know this? don't believe her. Maybe she's a false prophet. I said life is hard and there are difficult things for all of us, but that does not mean your whole year is going to be nothing but suffering. what does she know? I said there are blessings in life, too. When he left after we had talked off and on for most of an hour, he said he felt better and asked me when I would be there next, that he wished we could work on the same day. God has been using this person to humble me. There was the time I bawled him out because he would not do the work we were supposed to do, and he did not have my high standard, and when I followed his shift, I always had to clean up his messes. I apologized to him after that, but since then we have been slowly building back a bond of trust between us. I am ashamed that I lost my cool with him, and that I hurt him by my harsh words. True, they were, true words, but very hurtful in the way I threw them at him. Now I have realized that this person's tender soul is much more important than my inconvenience. When he asked me when I worked next and expressed that he felt better, I was amazed all over again at God and His redemptive power. After I had blasted him with my criticism, it has come around again to where I can encourage him. Now I don't feel angry or upset when I see him. I feel pity. I have to have hope. I was appalled that he might have committed suicide and that my criticising him might have been one of the factors that pushed him over the edge. I had prayed when I saw him standing there when I came in. God, please give me grace and kindness....
I am in awe of God. He does answer prayers given for His glory in a sincere tone. This is a very discouraged man. I work with him. And if God has given me a gift of encouragement, and I don't use it to encourage this individual, is that wrong? Lord, please give me more grace.