such good news

My passion is percolating and I feel the need to write. One that I love called last night and told me of very positive changes in her life. Relief. Joy. Strength. I could hear it in her voice. Hope. I won't say her name, but I don't want to put other peoples' lives on my blog without permission.

So I will put MY stuff out there: my stuff is that I was very worried about this person when she was sick in mind and body and spirit. Exhausted, weak, unable to function. In the past I personally felt the need to change her life. But in recent years, through reading books about Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, I grew. I cannot "make it all better" for someone else. I can't fix other people, only myself. I can only do the best I can to grow myself. I can be there and try to help, give advice if it is asked for, be supportive, listen, do things I am capable of for the person. But I cannot make decisions for the person about what to do with her life. That was growth for me and I noticed that when I was with her, I grew less tense and worried inside and more relaxed: make good decisions myself about things that are MY responsibility. Other people are responsible for their own lives.

Then I have antidepressants which have made it easier for me to think more like a normal person and not get all tied up in knots of frustration and anger when things go wrong.

I voluntarily subitted myself to brainwashing by flylady (see flylady.net). The most helpful aspect of her email deluge for me has been fighting the perfectionism in me. There is nothing wrong with doing excellent work, but being a perfectionist is delbilitating and leads to depression.

My church and my pastor have given me layers and layers of teaching and living out of GRACE that comes through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Last and most definitely not least, I hired a Christian life coach. (See purposefilledlife.com) At a time when I felt excited about the future and keen on finding my new niche, I was also very frightened, and felt very, very alone.

I had whined: I don't want to do this by myself! That is, make the big decision about what to do next? God cares and He was listening - even to my whining - and then I got that email from my former tennis coach saying: 'You'd be a good life coach.' And I thought, What's a life coach? But the link to Ron's site and his 30 minute free coaching session convinced me to try it.

Someone to walk with me on this journey. I know I was growing before, but I am sure that having a coach has multiplied my growth. I would have tried new things and gotten a job or two and moved forward, but without a coach, I would not have moved at the pace I have. Well, it's kind of silly to play the 'What if?' game. 'What if' (what if I had not hired Ron as coach) does not exist. Ok, so this is what I know. God graciously led me to a fine coach, suited for me, and He has used Ron to ENCOURAGE ME, SUPPORT ME and keep me ACCOUNTABLE.

So what does this have to do with the phone call last night? In the past, I think I would have gotten all upset, experienced a lot of anguish in my soul, feeling the whole burden of "fixing" another person's life, not my own life, you see. But this time I sat by the person, prayed with the person and for the person, listened to the person, encouraged her to talk, admitted to myself and to her I DO NOT HAVE THE ANSWER and not only that, but it is OK that I do not have the answer. All I had was a caring for her, and a willingness to be with her and the faith of a mustard seed that she could take steps to make her situation better.

Something that helped her tremendously was not my idea. It was her own idea. She was able to get away from her present load of stress and have time away, time outdoors, time with fun music, time with relaxed people. Lots of rest and healthy food.

Now then at the end of the day (this day only) I could hear the difference in her voice. Her voice was louder and clearer. She was enthusiastic and sounded happy! God, you are so good. Thank you. I expect more encouragement and grace from You for today, and I thank you in advance for that too.